OPEN SIN BEHIND CLOSED DOORS PART I: THE DANGERS OF PREMARITAL FOREPLAY

**Disclaimer: This post is NOT to condemn but to HELP. I am all about informing and encouraging other single ladies to trust in God. I CAN relate that the journey of sexual purity is NOT easy but worth it. I am not perfect. I am sure I will have to go back and re-read my below blog post to stay on track and keep myself encouraged.

Top (Banana Republic)
Earrings (Kate Spade)
Lipstick (MAC-Ruby Woo)

For the years I have been abstinent I have been so thankful God has kept me. Thankful that as each yearly anniversary of my abstinence journey rolled around.. I made it! I held out. But why? I would always tell people: "I'm holding out for my future husband" or "I'm not having sex again until my wedding night." But what did my holding out consist of? What was my version of not having sex? To be totally honest during the beginning of my journey I did not honor my true husband (God) all the way. (Side note: As a single christian woman you are already married to God). I had a major issue with ALMOST going all the way with guys I talked to or dated. I thought this was okay as long as I didn't have actual sexual intercourse. I always made sure to tell them up front I was abstinent until marriage. But, of course, in their mind I immediately became a challenge. They would test me to see how far I would go. Time and time again this happened until I became immune and went with the flow. All while still claiming a lifestyle of abstinence. As long as I was not having sexual intercourse, the enemy tricked me into thinking engaging in foreplay was harmless. But boy after it was over I felt guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I would have guys spend the night or come over late hours of the night at my apartment (all while serving/going to church....yes I was that girl. The enemy comes HARD after you when you are trying to live right and serve God). This was very misleading because my actions did not line up with my words (James 1:8). I was ruining my witness. I became desensitized to the fact that even engaging in sensual touching, kissing, rubbing, etc. created a soul tie. I convinced myself that as long as I was not having sex it was okay to do. I knew better! The longing to be held and loved consumed me. I ignored the fact that God already loved me and wanted to spend intimate time with me. Kissing, rubbing, and sensual touching is considered foreplay and prepares your body for sexual intercourse, whether you are married or NOT. I was still cheating on God. Until one day I said to myself enough is enough. I was tired of being on the merry go round of sexual sin. Either I'm going to live this abstinent lifestyle out to the FULLEST or not at all. I had to reprogram my way of thinking to line up with God's word; not just get into enough sin/pleasure without "going all the way" (I Peter 1:16).

To be honest its really not about years of holding out and counting numbers, but about living a holy lifestyle intentionally to please God. He is jealous for you (Exodus 34:14). We have to stop cheating on God with men we are not married to. (Song of Solomon 8:4). On your wedding night you will be glad you did.  No regrets, no guilt, no shame. Why? Because you and your spouse will be in holy matrimony celebrating within the marriage bed. Better yet, forget the wedding night! Peace of mind is priceless knowing whether you get married or not, you have self control and want to honor God. Get your mind off of yourself by spending time with friends and family. Start a business, get a hobby, go back to school, or help a single mother in need. Stop scrolling through social media coveting other peoples' relationships. You would be very surprised at what they have gone through. How do you even know if God ordained their relationship? How do you know if they settled and the relationship is toxic and just plain trash? Ladies we must learn to spend those lonely nights, weekends, and holidays with God, the lover of our soul. The loneliness hits HARD at times but you can't stay stuck there! Whether you messed up last night or 5 minutes ago in thought or action, know that God still loves you. He wants what is best for you and will not send you someone who will compromise your purity (Matthew 7:11). God longs for you. He is waiting. All you have to do is surrender your sex life to Him and He will keep you. But only if you want to be kept. Ask Him to fill the voids and heal what needs to be healed in your heart. Sever the ungodly soul ties on your life through fasting and prayer so you can be FREE. Guard your heart and set boundaries so you won't fall into the enemy's traps (Proverbs 4:23). God won't take the desire of sex away from you, but He will give you the strength to have self control and a way of escape from temptation (I Corinthians 10:13). God always does His part. Its up to us to do ours.
**Side note: The enemy will convince you because you are only engaging in foreplay you are safe from STD's. Herpes and HPV (click links below) are considered skin to skin contact STD's, meaning all one has to do is touch/kiss the infected area of a person and then touch their own face, eyes, mouth, or genitals and infect their own self. DON'T BE TRICKED! Even getting a "little" freaky can put your health at risk (Proverbs 6:27-28). A person can look good on the outside and be infected on the inside. 

CLICK HERE FOR HPV FACTS

CLICK HERE FOR HERPES FACTS

LOSING A LOVED ONE; WHAT DEATH HAS TAUGHT ME

Hello everyone. It was hard for me to write this but God downloaded this in my spirit to put up on my blog. So here goes.

Since 2011 up until August of this year I have lost 4 people in my family that I dearly love at young ages. One of them being my father and the other 3 his siblings. Needless to say this has been devastating and unreal to my family. Their transitions all happened simultaneously: 2011, 2014, 2015, and now this year 2019. Many, many times I asked God "Why?!" Why my family all at such young ages? They were all ages 61 and under. The Holy spirit reminded me of the scripture Romans 8:28 which says: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Nothing can compare to the hurt and pain of losing a loved one. But we must remember as Christians, if they died in Christ we will see them again. (I Thessalonians 4:16- "For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.")

I remember as a child when my dad would drop me off at my grandmothers house so he could run errands, I would be so upset to the point of crying. I wanted to hang with him all day! I was truly a daddy's girl. I had no confidence that he would come back for me out of fear. As the day went on (and I got tired of crying) I watched cartoons or played with toys which led to losing track of time. Eventually later in the day, I heard a knock on my grandmother's door and there stood my daddy to come and pick me up. I was so happy! It wasn't so bad after all when he left, because after I got exhausted from crying I had to occupy myself and interact with my grandmother. What am I saying? If your loved ones died IN Christ you WILL see them again. Rest assured. Ask God to give you joy unspeakable and He will! (Psalms 30:5- "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.") 

Keep also in mind that grieving is a process and please seek counseling if you must. There is nothing wrong with seeking christian counseling to deal with your grief and emotions. You must also stay built up in the word of God to avoid depression. It happens to us all but we must not stay in that state. God provides a way of escape from anything the enemy will try and use to keep us bound. 

I know it is easier said than done, but please use your time left here on earth to get busy about God's business and your purpose. Tomorrow is not promised. Your loved ones would want you to go on and do great things in life and for God's kingdom. Cherish the memories you made with them and help keep their legacy alive. It hurts. I know it hurts bad but always remind yourself God knows everything you feel and He will heal the hurt. Losing someone I love has taught me even though they are gone now, its not "goodbye".. it's "see you later". (II Cor 5:8- Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord."- NLT)

Love, Candace

P.S. The enemy will try to sneak in on your emotions from grief and he will try to convince you to seek out ungodly ways to communicate with your deceased loved ones. Seeking out "spiritual advice" through psychics, spiritual mediums, palm readers, etc. opens doors to demons and witchcraft. (Leviticus 19:31- "Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them; I am the Lord your God." KJV). The dead in Christ are sleep and will not rise again until the coming of Christ. (Refer to John 11:11 - "After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up." In this chapter Lazarus was already dead and Jesus said this right before he healed Lazarus and raised him from the dead. He referred to Lazarus as asleep.)

Do you have a desire to know God and receive the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ? Repeat the below prayer:
Do you feel like you have strayed away from God? Repeat this prayer:

OPEN SIN BEHIND CLOSED DOORS PART II: A LEOPARD CAN'T CHANGE ITS SPOTS

Leopard Top- Target
Diamond Stud Earrings- Kate Spade
Lipstick- MAC- Ruby Woo

When I met guys and I knew in my spirit we were unequally yoked (Amos 3:3), I thought I still could change them. I would invite them to church or play gospel rap music while we in the car, etc. I know.. I know.. talk about trying to lead a horse to water. What I was refusing to realize is that when a man is in darkness he cannot be beat over the head with the bible or be forced to live for and love God. That's why we have free will. God did not make any of us robots. Who wants forced love? I know I don't. I wasted so much time to avoid the inevitable.. having to let go of a choice that was not from God but my flesh. I would still meet some guys that pretended to play the "christian game" but soon enough their real character showed through. No man is perfect but a man's heart will eventually show through if they are coming with the wrong intentions. 

Ladies please believe a man when he says the following: 

1) "I just want to be friends..thats it"

2) "I want to see other people.. and date you at the same time" 

3) "I have a lot of female friends..even ones that I have had sex with before" 

4)"If my friends ask me to go to a strip club I'm not going to NOT GO" 

5)"It's nothing wrong with having a beer or two every day after work; it helps me relax"

These are just a couple of non-negotiables if you want a serious godly courtship. Recreational dating should be slim to none if you are pursuing marriage. Jumping from person to person just to get a free meal or cure your boredom gets old and exhausting quick. You are practicing divorce. You could be using that time to love on/serve others. 

Ladies please know when a man wants to change for the right reasons he will. But I would not wait around. If God has ordained you two to be together it will happen. If not, God has another choice for you. In the meantime, live your life and make it count. A "leopard" most of the time won't change its spots, so WE must change lanes in life and pursue the will of God. No man is worth our eternity or missing the assignment God has on our life.

Love,

Candace

FAITH MOVES: A WAY OUT OF NO WAY

Skirt (The Limited)
Shirt (New York and Company)
Purse (Banana Republic)

Being a beauty influencer/blogger is not easy and invloves a lot of prep work and planning. But I love it! For now I am a one woman show when it comes to photos, etc. At the beginning of this year I hit the ground running. On the second weekend in January I got up early and prepped with the above outfit and makeup and God led me to a certain park to take shots. It was peaceful and quiet with the ducks swimming about and soaking up the sun and 50 degree weather (which is rare for January here in the south). As I finished setting up I could see in the distance a photographer taking pics of an engaged couple. My heart smiled because I just love love..lol. As they were making their rounds taking different poses in the park they came closer to my spot and I asked if they needed me to move for a shot. The photographer said "no you are fine"!..she then asked "would you like for me to take a picture of you with your camera?" I was like ...huh? I thought to myself this lady is in the middle of an engagement shoot and she wants to stop and help me?" She stated she wouldn't mind at all and as I looked over at the engaged couple they smiled and reassured me by saying "we don't mind!..go ahead". I was so thankful but in disbelief. 

When I started this journey I wondered who I would get to take my pictures, but made up in my mind I would get it done and be a one woman show. God saw my heart. He confirmed on that day He will provide the help I need to pursue my God given purpose. That moment reminded me of how God provided for the widow woman through the prophet Elisha. She took the last of what she had and God used the prophet to multiply it to where she never ran out of oil. She paid her debts and saved her sons from being sold into slavery.              (2 Kings 4:1-7)

What am I saying? Use what you have and move by faith and God will do the rest. Don't look at your circumstances or what you don't have. I truly believe there was no coincidence I was at that CERTAIN park at the SAME time as the engaged couple and their photographer. The photographer stopping in the middle of her engagement shoot to help me (a stranger) translated into a wink from God that He will always make a way out of no way. I admonish you, whatever God is calling you to do, make the move and He will do the rest. Don't let your gifts go to waste. (Romans 11:29)

Love,

Candace

REVIEW OF MY INFLUENSTER VOXBOX "THE YEAR OF YOU!"

Hi Beauties! 

I am so excited to share my complimentary items sent to me by Influenster! 

The Voxbox's theme was "The Year of You!" It centers around self care and healthy eating for 2019! Here are my thoughts/reviews on the below products:

Classico Organic Tomato and Basil Spaghetti Sauce
MSRP starting at- $2.78
Photo Credit: Candace Chambers

Classico Organic Tomato and Basil Spaghetti Sauce

I love anything healthy! When I tasted this Classico sauce it was bursting with flavor. Fresh basil, onion, tomato, and garlic are used to make this sauce. No sugar is added and it has only 50 calories per serving. That's my type of spaghetti sauce! I will definitely be using this on the regular to make my vegan spaghetti. I make zucchini noodles using my veggie spiralizer (pictured right) instead of using regular traditional noodles to cut carbs. There are endless ways you can incorporate this sauce with your meals..baked ziti, spaghetti, chili mac, ..the options are endless!

Suave Dry Spray Deodorant
MSRP- $4.49
Gold Bond Overnight Deep Moisturizing Lotion
MSRP- $7.99
Photo Credit: Candace Chambers

Suave Dry Spray Deodorant

Ok I admit it..I haven't used the spray deodorant in years! It looks like Suave is making a comeback in my hygiene stash with their aerosol deodorant spray. After I sprayed/applied, it lasted a whole day at work and beyond without me having to reapply. It sprayed on clear and instantly dried. No feeling is better than being confident with your hygiene; especially when you are at work or just around other people period. I am girly girl and love to smell good so I can foresee adding this to my hygiene regimen. Who doesn't love a fresh baby powder scent?  Suave dry spray deodorant will definitely be a staple in my hygiene goodies! 

Gold Bond Overnight Deep Moisturizing Lotion

When I first smelled the new Gold bond Overnight lotion I inhaled hints of rosemary and  lavender. Heavenly and soothing to say the least. I seriously felt ready for sleep after rubbing this in for a few minutes and read on the packaging that melatonin is one of the ingredients. Melatonin is a naturally occuring hormone in the body that aids in sleep. Hyaluronic acid is also another ingredient added to this lotion. It is well known for relieving dry skin, reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and accelerating wound healing. If you are having a sleepless night, feeling stressed, or just need some R & R, I highly recommend this lotion. This came right on time for the harsh winter weather down south in the area where I live. My cuticles, elbows, and feet are smiling right about now! 

KISS Lashes
MSRP- $3.99-$6.99
Photo Credit: Candace Chambers

KISS Lashes (Triple Push-Up Lashes)

I love playing in makeup and all things beauty. So y'all know I was excited to try these lashes! They have full density with fluffy layers of varied lengths that extend and curl to give volume and lift. These could definitely be used for prom or a glam night out with your girls! Unfortunately when I tried these, the eyelash glue made my eyes water. I know..so sad. My eyes are sensitive so I will be experimenting with magnetic lashes to eliminate all irritants. I wanted to give these a chance because they are so beautiful and dramatic! Kiss cosmetics has been around since I was a teen and is a staple in the industry as a go to drugstore brand. This definitely wont stop me from trying more of their products. I will be trying their magnetic lashes for sure!

Thank you for stopping by!

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(Disclaimer: I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.)